Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
