I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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