I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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