and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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