If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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