I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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