Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
