Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize