hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
