me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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