i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
