But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
