Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm sobbing to NWA
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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