It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
