nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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