your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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