I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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