She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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