last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
