I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
