Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize