A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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