my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
