Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
don't judge my taste in strippers
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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