My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize