She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
...so i touched it.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
