honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
