Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
my poor anus
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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