I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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