Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Be still, my beating vagina.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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