I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
