She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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