you would pick up someone in the library
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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