She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
