we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
