Define "chronic" masturbator.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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