I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We just shotgunned beers for America
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
