its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
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