And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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