Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
