the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
