My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
