i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize