I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
