I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
