You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
