he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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