; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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