they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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