So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
