I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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