last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
