I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
