you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
