Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I hope mine doesn't look like that
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
