Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
