i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she looked like the before picture.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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