yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
