I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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