You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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