Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
